Communicating Without Words

I have two parts to to my job at work. Usually I am working on the eighth floor responding to a list of issues from top to bottom. I see names and incident numbers on the daily, but rarely see the people I help face to face, outside of the occasional drop of or pickup for a hardware issue.

Typically I will communicate with people that I am helping over instant messenger. By contacting people over IM, I am able to help multiple people seamlessly without losing track of the information that they have already provided. I have the ability to send them to certain network locations, and even send direct URLs to the webpages that I need them to go to.

Until you have worked a HelpDesk type of job, you do not understand how difficult it is to get someone to a website. Telling them to go to Google could mean open Google Chrome, go to your default search page, or even Google search "Google" using the Google toolbar. 

I am okay with phoning people and do it frequently, however I am limited to helping a single person at a time and cannot look back at our conversation for more detail. Email is a close second to IM, but doesn't have the same urgency to respond as an instant message can have.

Recently, however I have been doing the other part of my job by working the walk-up helpdesk on the corporate campus. This is  anything from employees who need to turn in their laptops for their last day, to a mass of technical and know-how issues. Working at this desk is very different from working a list of names and numbers through digital means. These people walk up with their laptops and sit directly in front of me.

The conversations that I have had are most interesting and are a learning piece every single day. I've learned that being attentive to what is going on around you will make a huge difference. I will work at the desk with several people, and by not being glued to my screen in the down time, people will typically approach me first. This is obvious as I am most approachable, but it is important to mention for where I am going.

I almost always shoot out a quick "Hello! How can I help you today?" as they are sitting down pulling out their laptop. Nine times out of ten they start explaining their issue, but something happened this last week that initially frustrated me until I really started thinking about it.

Certain people wouldn't reply to my question until their computer was open and showing me the issue that they were having. Sometimes this took a couple minutes to login and get to the message. I felt that we were wasting time. Time that  I could be taking in information to get to a resolution. However they didn't want to waste time talking about it when they can just show me.

This got me thinking about the ways that we communicate with one another and how we often times get frustrated when people don't do it our way or in our time.

Here is an example:
I grew up with a very quick family both in wit and speed. We all talk very quickly and very often interrupt each other while talking. This is rude. I totally understand that. But our family communicates that way and doesn't take it as inherently rude.

When talking with another friend, I would naturally interrupt a lot because that is how I am used to communicating. One time I was asked, "Do you want to hear what I have to say or not?"  This stopped me dead in my tracks, was I being rude? I was trying to show that I was actively listening, but that's not what I was communicating with my actions.

Talking with another friend, he cannot multitask conversation. If he is sending a text or doing something else and is asked a question, he will simply not respond. Not because he didn't hear you, or doesn't want to answer you, he just cannot do it. I was upset when we first lived together thinking it was very disrespectful, but later realized it's a different way of communicating.

So what am I getting at here?

Ultimately how much we actually talk doesn't speak volumes when put next to how it is that we are communicating. We should be constantly evaluating how it is that we speak with other people. What are you communicating without using words?

Eye Contact.

When I am with someone talking and they won't make or maintain eye contact I get frustrated. I was brought up to always make eye contact when talking with someone as a sign of respect and to engage them into what you are saying. Obviously there are times that you don't maintained eye contact (driving, watching a movie or sport, ect) but it is much easier to talk with someone who will look back at you when you are talking.

Posture (Body Language)

What is your posture when compared to the other person? Are you sitting down, and leaning back when they are trying to talk about something important? If you are meeting someone for the fist time, what kind of impression are you leaving? I will almost always stand to talk with someone if they walk up to speak with me. I want to communicate to them that I am listening and respect them enough to do so. Square up, look at them straight on. Don't give the Minnesota 90, but look at the person and engage. 

Frequency

 How often do you talk with your best friend? I cannot imagine that you would go months without talking. Because you value that person, you want to maintain the relationship though frequent conversation and time together. But even so, who is doing the contacting? Do you have equal attempts at  making contact or is your friend in the dark until they contact you? What is your lack of communication actually communicate to your friend? 

 Action and Inaction

Have you ever asked someone to do something, and they completely drop the ball? It's frustrating. Their actions (or inaction) can easily communicate something without words. Although they may not intentionally be saying, "I don't value you enough to do what you asked" it can often come off that way. Be intentional. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you forget, fix it. Show people that you value them, by valuing their time and requests. 

Punctuality

I have always been a punctual person. I like to be on time. Even when a party or gathering has a soft starting time, I am usually anxious if I am not on time. But what about meetings or gatherings with people that have specific times? Showing up fifteen minutes late to a lunch meeting with a friend doesn't communicate very well. It also communicates that you don't value their time as much as your own. If you know that you are habitually late, do something to help value others. Lay your clothes out or pack your lunch the night before. Don't start another Netflix episode if you won't be able to finish it with enough time to spare. Sacrifice a bit of your own time, to make time for someone else. It speaks volumes. 

Be attentive to the people around you. If you are going to say something, take a second and think it though. Give thought to the words that you are sharing with others, and how you are sharing those words. Instead of a text message, call them up—it's likely faster and significantly more personal. You make the plans with someone that always makes the plans, practically show them they are valued.

Communication is much more then words exchanged. Be aware of what you are saying to others without using any words.

Seaboard Moonwalk

Check out how cool this new evolution of the keyboard is.

A way to adapt a note as you play it, and not in post production or something else.

The Centurion of the Crucifixion

 Now the centurion, and those who were with him keeping guard over Jesus, when they saw the earthquake and the things that were happening, became very frightened and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!” Matthew 27:54 

I envision the centurion. 

I envision that the centurion was a big man, in both stature and in personality. Being in the Roman army would have required him to be physically strong, and I imagine him always having a demanding presence whenever he was around others. Leading up to 80 men, this centurion, was probably highly respected by most, or even feared by anyone who was not a Roman citizen! Commander of those 80 people, but he was accountable for all of his actions, he had to be calculated in his decisions, and stand behind each one regardless of it being right or wrong. His job was one of respect, but by no means would have been easy!

Before the cross the centurion knew of who Jesus was, but needed to be ruthless. 

The centurion was the hand of Rome, and enforcer of the law. He was in charge of maintaining order among the people, whether Roman or not. We see in Scripture that the Romans were aware
of who Jesus said that he is; even sending to Jesus for a miraculous healing of a servant because of the centurion's belief. However, the Roman Army was there for a reason. The centurion would have been in charge of keeping any person after he or she had been arrested. He also would have been in charge of the soldiers who conducted all of the beatings, imprisonment, and he would supervise the crucifixions of criminals and law breakers. He had a very wide range of emotions from day to day, from sorrow for his servant’s life and elation from him being healed on one day, and on the next needing to be numb and cold towards someone else’s life.

The Centurion was a man that lost track of who Jesus was until it was almost too late! 

The centurion had a job to perform, keeping order while progressing through the trial and death of Jesus. But He and the other soldiers did more than that. They mocked and spat on Jesus during his trails and beatings. They tore his clothes and gambled them away, while still mocking Jesus as he hung on the cross, helpless and bare. After Jesus’ last words and final breath, an earth quake shook the ground, a sudden darkness, rocks split and the dead are raised to life! Imagine the noise and confusion that would all be happening at once!

The centurion is astounded. He recognized that this man had suffered unjustly, and was truly innocent. In trembling reverence, only beginning to understand what had happened: He announces “Surely he was the Son of God!”

Often times, I feel that we can be like the centurion before his
realization. Not in a brutal way, but in our emotional weight and understanding of what tonight, of what this weekend is truly all about. What is our attitude towards the crucifixion? Is it
something that is recognized once every calendar year? We might go to church, eat lunch with our family, perhaps read some scripture and then go back to our lives and jobs unchanged?

Or.

Do we have a reverence of what it is that Jesus has done? The centurion’s eyes were opened on that hill, he realized that the Son of God was hanging there for HIM. The centurion believed.
He may have not understood it completely, but imagine what the next week was like? Or even the next few months!

I want tonight to be reminder of what Jesus came to do, yes. But I challenge to let it move you. Try to understand the weight and emotion the centurion may have felt, thinking back on everything he had done and permitted, he announced to everyone, "Surely he was the Son of God!” We may not have earthquakes and splitting rocks around us today, but the power of what Jesus did has not lost any of its amazing power or awe. Be renewed in your thankfulness and astonishment of Jesus.

He came to abolish your sin willingly. 

I am like the centurion; we are like the centurion when we ponder the love displayed on the cross; And believe.

Life, Liberty (from school) and the Pursuit of Happiness: A Full Update

Last May, I had the excitement of graduating from Northwestern College with a major in Youth and Family Ministry. It was the end of my three years at NWC and was a very bitter-sweet time.

I loved college. I loved residence life. I loved being around students all the time. 

One of my biggest joys was doing youth ministry while doing school. I did this in two very different ways. I was volunteering, and eventually interning, at a local church but was also doing a different kind of youth ministry on campus with the very students I was living and learning with every day. College has people from all different backgrounds, family types and maturity levels—much like a youth group. Being on staff with residence life, I interacted with many students for many reasons on a weekly basis. 

I loved working on campus! I wouldn't trade it for anything. Living on campus as a senior? Not a problem. I have never been one to have a ton of close friends; I love meeting people and am very genuine in that—but I really desire to get to know a smaller group of people intimately. I found that group on campus, but more importantly I lived with my best friend for three years. I was set. 

Upon graduation, things changed rapidly:

—My best friend got married to a wonderful woman, who has become another one of my best friends. They are wonderful people and have continued to be an encouragement to me throughout the months since moving across the metro. (Living with me has something to do with marriage, as two of my other roommates and good friends got married shortly after leaving my room!)

—I moved into a full time hours at work, before actually moving into a full time position at the Geek Squad. I love my job. If you you've spent any amount of time with me you know my passion for technology. I have a watch that syncs with my phone to control the music across the room. My discount from working at the largest technology retail chain doesn't help! It has been really fun to work daily with the same group of people, and really get to know them better. School takes up so much time and energy, that I feel that I was missing out on getting to know who my coworkers were from not being fully present. That has changed, and I love going to work to do life with the people I now spend most of my time with.

—I worked at my church for internship credit. Part of the program with most all majors at NWC was to have 200+ hours of active time in your field. I was fortunate enough to intern where I have been volunteering for some time.

These students have been my life! I love working with high school students and trying to help them figure out who this Jesus is and what it means for their lives right now. They have been a blessing on me. As anyone who has worked with students will know, they are ministering to you in a very active was as well!

Shortly after graduation, the relationship that I had built with the staff at church provided me with an opportunity I could not have imagined. 

The junior high pastor needed a leave of absence for several months and I was asked to fill in his place. A very unexpected journey as I had not imagined leading a youth group so shortly after graduation. Although I have not thought I wanted to teach junior high, I've learned that the Lord likes to make you uncomfortable to grow more in Him. I accepted the position as Interim Junior High Pastor, got my keys and was leading Sunday School, Wednesday night program, and events within the next week! I was asked to serve for three months, ending February 1, just a few days ago.

I loved every bit of it. Although it was not a full pastoral position, as I worked closely with the actual pastor for event planning and logistics, I was teaching twice a week and having tons of fun hanging out and really getting to know the students. All the while still volunteering with the senior high another day of the week!

I learned so much from this time of teaching and developing students, things that I didn't even know I needed to learn. I was blessed beyond words for the opportunity to teach and lead and can only hope to continue to work with these students throughout the school year. The students that really took me in, and were willing to give me the time of day blessed me very deeply. I had a core group of students that came to everything that I could plan, and I appreciate their excitement and acceptance.

Although my time is done being "in charge" I have asked the senior pastor to stay on as some unofficial student ministries associate, so that I can really invest in the students; both junior and senior high. If I could quit retail today, and move into ministry full time I would. Financials and common sense will currently not allow that, but I am excited to see where the Lord is taking me.

He clearly has set youth ministry in front of me, and is showing me just enough that I can continue in that path He is leading me on. Following in faith is not hard. Following in faith implies 'following without question' which I can honestly say is one of the most difficult things to do.

The past three months have made it clear to me that I have followed the Lord thus far. It makes me so happy and overjoyed to be doing active ministry and am excited where He will lead me over the next three months! 

If you read all of this, you are a champion — Blessings on your day!

MB

Don't Take A Spiritual Spring Break!

This year is the first year that I took a spring break without any specific plans. Not only did I have ten days off of school, but I also took that time off of work; my girlfriend was out of town and most everyone on campus (where I was staying) had left for the vacation. It was an actual vacation, a time to relax and get recharged. 

Of course, I slept in late and stayed up late. Watched entire seasons of shows on Netflix and had Chipolte three days in a row. I didn't go anywhere further then the airport. I didn't look at my assignments until Sunday. I really did take a vacation from the expectations and priories that were on me. 

Getting back into the swing of things has been fine, I didn't completely check out so that I couldn't snap back to it, but one class has really challenged me today with a question. The question is very simple, yet convicting:

While going somewhere warm, or skiing or just sleeping during break is fun and maybe relaxing, how do you recharge spiritually? What is you pattern? What is your struggle with it?

Being on break from "everyday" life doesn't mean that you relax or take a break from your spiritual walk with Christ. Unlike sports, intellect, or Settlers of Catan none of us can claim an innate spiritual advantage. We are all equally disadvantaged! None of us seek God naturally; no one does good inherently. [Romans 3:9-18] We need to be crazy intentional, developing ourselves in Him daily, never taking time off from God. Being married doesn't mean you have to talk with your spouse or ever go home—but a lot is going to suffer if you don't intentionally make time. So is our relationship with the Lord God, intentional and consistant. (Adapted from R. Kent Hughes Disciplines of a Godly Man)

How much more do we need to be disciplined in what we are doing to stay connected to God, when we drop other responsibilities or expectations on vacation?

I recharge spiritually by giving ample time to read through devotions. However, that's a lot harder then it sounds—even while having a week of free time! My struggle is getting past the exciting things to do amidst the day like Netflix, Xbox and Board-games. I sometimes don't want to want to read the Word and commune with God. I think that it isn't exciting enough, or feel that it's something I have to do. Fortuity God has a passionate pursuit for us and will not let me stay in this attitude. When I do 'give in' and read the Word and start to commune with an honest heart, I am encouraged to continue in that, to develop the want to continue! 

I am blessed to have several people that I meet with regularly and are going through books together. This has helped develop a pattern of consistency. Through these times, I know that someone else is reading the same thing that I am and if I do not keep my end I'll be embarrassed and let down the person I've committed to reading with!

Day by day is different, but knowing when during the day I will make time with God is important. College does not allow for a high level of consistency in your schedule but making time, making margin, for the Lord is crucial. And don't I know it!

Don't let yourself take spring breaks from your spiritual walk, we cannot afford to do it! 

How Should We Respond

A friend of mine blogged regarding the football game that just happened, and the OREO response during the power outage. What is much less known is that tide also sent a graphic during the power outage on twitter which got very little response compared to OREO's.

Take a look:

My first reaction to the OREO advertisement was a good chuckle and a bit of respect for the quick response among the multitude of tweets that happened during the blackout of the Super Bowl™.  Tide was only minutes behind OREO, but their ad wasn't mentioned with the people I spent the big game with. Their response doesn't really make sense. I understand that Tide removes stains, but what does "get my blackout" even mean?

Tide and OREO both recognized that the situation that they could advertise to around 111.3 million people (2012 estimate) with a simple 144 character advertisement and it would be "understood" by those people. This was a great advertising move, both logically and logistically. Any buzz that arises around the power outage will now also move conversation to the OREO advertisement. But why not the Tide?

As Christians it is important for us to have the right understanding as we live here. We do not have a choice of living on this earth, as to somewhere else, but we are called to have a different understanding of it. 

Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Eugene Peterson presents Romans 12:2 in his paraphrase:

Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

How do we as Christians respond to the "blackout" times in our culture. When things are buzzing around us, how do we respond? Not only how quickly, but how does what we say or do land on other people? When we do respond is it an OREO statement that causes a lasting experience, or is a Tide statement that may be heard or seen by some but doesn't carry any weight at all?

As a Christian, how are you going to respond to the things around you? 

1 Peter 3:15 says "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." 

We need to always be prepared to give answer in a gentle, respectful and effective way.We need to be witnesses in the world through conduct, speech and love. How are you doing? How am I doing; am I the OREO advertisement or Tide? Am I hitting the mark, or missing it?

The Christmas Story (Luke and Matthew)

In case you didn't know, it's Christmas eve today and everyone seems to be in a better mood then the rest of the year. (Everyone but people stuck in lines at a return counter!) As you get together with your families and spend time together, be it for Christmas or not, take in the joy that you have. That being said; this time of the year is not happy and joyful for everyone -- many people are going through tough times; today and tomorrow especially. Let us be thankful for the things we have, and the people that have been, and are here with us to enrich our lives. 

I used to love to receive gifts. I guess that I still do, we all do, but in a very different light then when I was little. Back in the day, I wanted new stuff for me. I wanted to have new toys to play with and eventually break, or lose to the dog. But this year, it's something very different. 

It's not that I don't want gifts, I greatly appreciate gifts from friends and family alike. But that is just it, I appreciate friends and family. The people in my life whom I get to slow down and fellowship with. But why gifts? Who decided that we should give gifts to each other to show our appreciation, love or materialism?

Fortunately, that answer is pretty easy from the Gospel in two ways. Firstly, Christmas is about God's gift to the world caught in sin (Rom 3:23). He sends His only son, Jesus, as a gift to escape the wrath that we deserve (Rom 6:23). Although Jesus may not have been born on December 25th, this is the time of year that we slow down to recognize the importance of this one baby's birthday on the entire world. 

God's gift to the world, all of His creation, was sending His son Jesus, through Mary to be our salvation.

Secondly, in the story of Jesus's birth and first months on the earth. We read in the Scriptures that the Magi travel to the place that He (Jesus) was born bringing gifts of great value to show their reverence in Him and the important person that He was. 

As you give and receive gifts tonight or tomorrow just remember the greatest gift that was and is given freely and openly to everyone who would accept it. The gift of redemption from sin and a chance to know the Lord God personally and intimately. 

Merry Christmas!

This is the story of Jesus as presented in the NIV Bible through the Books of Luke and Matthew:

Luke 2

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave births to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Matthew 2 (some time has passed, possibly up to 2 years)

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.”

When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Messiah was to be born. “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written:

“‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for out of you will come a ruler
who will shepherd my people Israel.’[b]”

Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and search carefully for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.”

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.