When you interact with people, you come with tons of presuppositions. The way they look, their body language, the way you're feeling for the day, your patience level or even the place that you are all come into play. What we don't often realize is the subconscious presuppositions that enter into our interactions!
Think of the opinions that you have had for a really long time. Perhaps they are so natural or strong that you often forget that they are opinions and not fact at all. How about your personality and upbringing and how that changes the way that you view things. Other people have different life experience that may shape their view points much more differently then yours.
When you're going through life, and other people are offering their support how does it feel? If it's something that is close to you, are you prone to take it much more personally? What if a stranger said the same thing as your mother or father, would it carry the same weight? Probably not.
I have been learning to look at other people's perspective that is well outside of my own.Working with the Geek Squad has taught me a lot with perspective. I am good with technology, and I have always been. I say this as a matter of fact and in no bragging way. Sometimes I forget that not everyone is skilled or even comfortable with computers or technology in general. My perspective of a simple computer problem, could be the worst thing that has happened to Willa and Willard since the HyVee shut down!
If I come at it from my perspective, it's a waste of well spent time and is a problem that is so basic a quick Google could have solved the problem.But what might their perspective look like? Dial-up internet through an outdated AOL means Google takes ten minutes to load, in which the thousands of results would be overwhelming, and anyone they could call is hours away. Well that changes things a little! Suddenly I have more patience for them and the issues that they're having.
Let's step out of the computer / customer service roles.
You're getting serious with a significant other and ask for a dear friends advice. He tells you that he always thought you would do better and have someone who was less athletic because of how interested in basket weaving you are. And he is really poor at creating conversation.
What a jerk! Maybe not--
Let's shift perspective. You asked for their advice. They see that you value their opinion and are seeking it. What this friend thought he was conveying was something along the lines of I really like who you've chosen to become serious with, although I always pegged you for a basket person, this person is a lot more athletic then I realized you to be. And we have nothing in common, so they're really hard to have a conversation with but they get along great with my brother who also loves to play sports!
With the same words, a totally different message can be conveyed. I'm sure it's happened to you at some point in time!
When you are dealing with people, think about how your words might change meaning in the process of vibrating through the air. Your disapproval on premarital sex could be a punch in the gut to the person you know little about, or someone they are very close to. A slender friend telling you how much they love to eat and how much they just had for dinner, when you struggle with body image, had very little to eat and still feel fat!
When you start to get offended or hurt when you're talking with someone, take a minute and analyze where they are coming from. Perhaps they don't mean it in a rude or offensive way at all, but their view is just very different from yours. When you offend or hurt someone, remember that what you mean to say and how they understand what you are saying might not be the same thing if you are not careful in what you're saying.
I don't ask you to throw your perspective out the window for every person that you interact with. Simply understand that perspectives change from person to person given everything they know and understand. Be willing to be sensitive (or realize they're not trying to be rude) and better understand the people that you interact with.
Be patient, show love, and live with less conflict and pain!
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:2-3
